THEDRG DICTIONARY VOL 1 FIRST EDITION: A Collector’s item fer sure

November 25, 2010 · Filed under TheDRG Dictionary

Peeps have been telling me for years that I need to write out all my little bastardisations of the English Language. Please comment ’cause I know there must be many words and sayings I have forgotten. Years of linguistic genius can’t be remembered in one sitting!

Balzacs: Ball sacks
Boeing 747: Boring 747
Craycray Joan Crawfish or Craycraycrawfish: U Crazy
Cornjacking my Mindhole: Beyond anything I can possibly imagine or Wow and Double Wow
De Nada, por favor
Dickless: Ridiculous (circa 2010)
FYIphone
Hearts U Farts U
Inappropro: So inappropriate
Meowzers: depressed, feeling down or Moewsy
Obvo-Cado: Obviously
Radicchio salad: Ridiculous (circa 1999)
Totes: Totally (been using this one for like evers before it was coolsies)
Un mojito loco: One Moment Please
Yahoo serious: Are U serious?

I know this is just the tip of the iceburg…put I am tireds and need to rest after a long day of wordsmithin’

You know you are on the pulse when 16 yr olds tell you “Oh I changed my facebook status to ‘Hearts U Farts U’ or say, “I telling everyone they are so inappropro”

I still got it. Whatever “it” is.

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OMG It is Summer Down Under

November 25, 2010 · Filed under The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , ,

And I live by the beach! What a complete 180! I was pretty much learning to walk last year and now I can walk on the sand and not worry about my knee giving out. Oh so much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day (in America obviously)

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Here’s the Situation.

March 3, 2010 · Filed under The thing about moving is..., The thing about my family is..., The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Looks like I haven’t written a post in awhile so got to do it now, quickly, while Mo is taking a nap.

We just got back from our three-week trip to NYC where it was nice to catch up with my family and friends. Swear I talked more on this trip then I have in the past nine months. Now we are back and getting over colds and Ramona’s first fever, which was probably due to international travel and getting her one-yr vaccinations. Meanwhile, Dan and I are looking for work. It’s a bit stressful figuring it all out-work, daycare, and Dan going back to school but we are also very excited about making some cash and planning our next moves….Today is Dan’s first day of school at the University of Sydney, where he is working toward an MA in Digital Media and Culture, and he is super psyched about it.

Knee Update: After two months of my knee not budging from 90 degrees it now bends about 105 degrees (140-155 being normal). I now have completed all my free physio and hydro therapies. I am supposed to walk up lots of hills and continue my knee exercises on my own. I see the doctor in 6mths and then the wires and pins come out (another surgery). I also have to get tested for osteoporosis since I fell while standing (not from a big height), and was recently pregnant and breastfeeding, also my mom and grandma have it…so we shall see. The doctor was glad my progress was slow on one hand since it helps the bone heal stronger but also worried that I could trip and fall again. He was certain that in 6mths I would have all my bend back.

So how was the trip to NYC? Well, it was great to see everyone-really and truly. I can’t begin to explain how isolated I have been in the ‘burbs of Sydney being a new mom and not knowing anyone (oh yeah and not being able to walk). So re-connecting with old friends was what I really needed-and clothes-I really needed clothes because jeans and shoes are outrageously expensive here, $90 for low top converse and $200 for Levi Jeans-for realz. Ramona had a great time getting re-acquainted with her cousins in DC where we celebrated her birthday again and all the January birthdays in our family. We stayed in DC for a week right before the big storms hit and luckily we got out before that mess! Mo picked up a few new mannerisms from her cousins, one being dancing in a circle and stamping her feet. Pretty hilarious and I will post a video soon. Ramona also started talking more-lots of blab, blab, blabbing first thing in the morning. She has been also “singing” into he electronic microphone she got for her birthday-totally gonna be an MC-Dan will be so proud.

What else? Oh yeah I ate tons of turkey bacon while Stateside. Little known fact about Oz, they got no turkey bacon-it is sad but true! I didn’t want to risk smuggling it in even though my love for turkey bacon runs deep. I just can’t justify getting a huge fine for it. So I gorged on it for three weeks straight.

And I lost my iPhone in a cab.

I also found out that I seriously could not get a good cup of coffee until I got back on Australian soil. Even the cafe in the Sydney airport has better espresso-that’s the truth. And the produce is a lot fresher-even in big supermarkets-you can literally taste the difference. Also going out to eat in NYC I often felt sick after because the portions are a lot bigger than back here.

The weather was really pleasant when we got back-supposedly from the time we left until we landed there was a disgusting heat wave and then pouring rain. Glad we missed it but got to say Winter in the Northern Hemi-not so much fun either. Dealing with ice and snow while traveling with a baby and recovering from a knee fracture is not the best way to see the city. Also the subway elevators stink like piss-but I knew that already just needed to use them more because of baby and leg. Next time we go in the Fall or Spring for sure.

Here is a summary of all the other crap I did not post in the last few months:

Julie-anne visited us for six weeks: She was really wound up when she got here and then by the end became like butter, melted butter. Pipe in here Jubes for a re-cap of your time in Oz-maybe then other people will visit.

Christmas on the Macadamian farm in Broken Head:
Beach in the morning, tea tree lake in the afternoon (and yes it is a lake filled with tea tree oil and it is amazing!!!) life is hard.



and Mo’s first birthday a kitty kat themed party at Centennial Park.

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This about sums it up.

January 17, 2010 · Filed under The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , ,

Sorry haven’t been updating the blog lately, but after seeing this commercial the other day thought I should not waste an opportunity to share with the world what Australia is really like…

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I still haven’t been billed for my kneecap surgery!!!

October 30, 2009 · Filed under The thing about my family is..., The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , , , ,

If you haven’t already, you can read all about the broken kneecap saga in these posts:
sometimes they take out kneecaps
coming home
I May Never Skate Again!!!

So as of today we officially got one bill from the Ambulance Services. A bill for $300. Yes an ambulance bill for just $300! I can’t even believe it myself. And we would have been more than happy to pay for it BUT luckily we read the small print because it said that if you hold a health care card the bill is ZERO!!! And we do! My partner, Dan, had to leave his full-time job to care for me and my daughter. So a health care card, which is a card for people that have little to no money coming in and can be used to get discounts on prescription drugs and other services is extremely helpful. Yep, I was taken to the ER in an ambulance, stayed for 4 days, and still have not paid a cent 6 weeks later. But that is not all!

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my 6 week check-up. I was going every two weeks since being discharged. I usually get seen in a reasonable amount of time for a large public hospital AND the doctors talk to you for more than 15 minutes. While in x-ray the student technician told me about his knee injury and how lucky I am to be in a rich country like Australia-he is from South Korea and it took him two years to get his full range of motion back-TWO YEARS. My doctor told me from the day of surgery it would be 3 months until I can walk (slowly) up and down steps again.

My X-ray showed the docs that the bone was healing well but the wires that hold it all together would have to be taken out in a year or so from now since they are gonna be pushing up against my skin when the swelling goes down. The surgery shouldn’t be a big deal. My knee still doesn’t look like “a knee” yet. It is getting close, but it is bigger than the other knee-and with my muscles being non-existent that whole leg is looking a bit bizzaro. So basically the doctor told me to stop wearing my brace and not to use the crutches anymore. It is time to walk! And I was like wait, hold up, I love my brace!!!And even though it is all sweaty and dirty and gross and totally annoying and if I hear the sound of velcro one more time..it is the only thing that holds my LEG together!!!Well except for those wires…so yes a bit excited and scared to go at it alone, sans brace and crutches. You see this is like more about your mind getting over it then what is really going on physically. Right now my mind is having a lot of trouble figuring out how the hell my skinny ass leg with the swollen kneecap is gonna keep the rest of me upright without breaking again!

Then the physio came in to tell me about some exercises I can do to strengthen my leg. This guy, Nick, was great because he actually listened to me! I had fears about walking that he said were valid but if I do the exercises, build up the muscles and go slow I should be fine. And no, my leg was not going to fall off. I also told him that I wanted to go to physio closer to the house ’cause the hospital I go to now is in the city about 40min + tolls and parking. I also wanted hydrotherapy (exercising in a pool) and that I would be happy to pay for if needed. I had heard from other sources that medicare would not cover my physio and that I would have to find someone on my own, so I was taken aback when he said he was gonna call around for me and see what he could come up with. HE CALLED THE PLACES FOR ME!!! Public healthcare people, do you believe it? By the time I got home he called to tell me he found a public hospital close by, it has a pool, and the PHYSIO WOULD BE FREE! He faxed them my information and said I should be hearing from someone early next week. I seriously was gonna shell out some cash monies (beg, borrow or steal it) to walk again! But now, because of my best buddy Nick, I don’t have to turn to a life of crime!

So today I have been trying to walk around the house a bit without my brace and it is a lot harder then I had thought it would be. No, I did not think that as soon as I took the brace off the heavens would part and my knee would be 100% better BUT I did not think I would be less mobile without the brace. I have to use the crutches for now and if not, take small baby steps. I do wear the brace to play on the floor with my daughter because it is easier to get up quicker if needed. I am now sitting in a chair while writing this post, and my leg is bent but feels stiff and achy. In the world of broken kneecaps this is what we call PROGRESS.

Again small baby steps-I look at Ramona who is starting to walk and am like yeah she’s got the right idea. But my patience is wearing thin (not like I had a lot to begin with) and the waiting is the hardest part (Tom Petty got that right….) The last 6 weeks have been very trying on myself and my little family (oh man does Dan need a break!!) and I haven’t been in the best of moods. It is hard to keep a positive spin on things when you are having trouble just getting your baby a new diaper because her naked butt is crawling away from you and you can’t reach her fast enough without straining/breaking something and you pray that she doesn’t crap on the floor, furniture, or the cat. Or you haven’t taken a shower in four days because your partner is too busy doing EVERYTHING and you don’t have anywhere to go to anyway because you can’t drive and don’t have any money to do anything-but at least it is not South Korea, right? Wait, what I meant to say was at least it is not the UNITED STATES where we would be even more screwed with money, more debt and loads of red tape.

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The Mighty Sparrow as motivation

October 22, 2009 · Filed under The thing about my family is... · Tagged , , , , , , ,

When Ramona was 7mths and learning to crawl Sparrow was there to help/not help out.

If you can handle it here are some more videos:

I call this one wall:

and this, toe suckin’:

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Ramona is taking it to the “next level”

October 21, 2009 · Filed under The thing about my family is... · Tagged , ,

‘Cause some of you don’t call, write or skype with video…here are some clips of Ramona doing her thang. You know those baby milestones we all had to pass to take it to the “next level” . She is now nine months and beyond the cutest, smartest and bestest baby in the universe. I mean obviously!

Standin’

Crawlin’ with Dad

“Learning to Crawl with The Mighty Sparrow as Motivation” Coming Out Soon (so stick around people this one is gonna be so worth the wait!)

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It’s Like Alabama in the 60s

October 10, 2009 · Filed under The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , , ,

Last week we spent time with some amazing indigenous activists visiting from up north. They were in Sydney for the big footy final and told us an amazing story about getting in to all the VIP parties. These woman are in their 50s/60s and had a blast partying it up. But they also kept saying how surprised they were at how many white Australians were nice to them because up north were they live and work and they encounter racist remarks, institutional racism, and downright nastiness on a DAILY basis. They kept telling us, “it’s like Alabama in the 60s”. The next day they were planning on meeting some African-American tourists to take to an aboriginal neighborhood in Sydney so they could meet indigenous Australians. The tourists had asked at their hotel where the black people were at and the hotel receptionist said “there aren’t any”. Huh? Whaat?

And so this leads me into the big news of the week here and abroad about the minstrel show of the Jackson Jive on “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” that American singer Harry Connick Jr. happened to be judging on.

Most people commenting about this performance in the media talk about Australians apologizing to America for being so insensitive. But hello! Look around at your own history and present day treatment of people of color in Australia! Not only are black indigenous folk are completely fucked with on a daily basis by police, the government and neighbors but they are also being beaten and killed for being who they are. Check out the stories about Palm Island and more recently the Ward case as well as the government illegal intervention in the Northern Territories Also a couple of years back the race riots on the beach in Sydney targeted Middle Eastern youth and recently there have been racists attacks on Indian students.

When I first got here I kept taking photos of the racist images I saw in the candy aisle in the local supermarket.
candy1
candy2

The first step to doing something is to admit there is a problem. Australians need to freakin’ own up to their racist culture and then maybe some re-education can begin.

Dan, my partner, wrote about this as well on his blog Rearleft:
http://rearleft.wordpress.com

As well as our new friend Chris:
http://expatsinoz.blogspot.com

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I May Never Skate Again!!!

October 1, 2009 · Filed under The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , , ,

Went to my doctor’s appointment today and had a rough time just dealing with removing the tape that held my stitches in and getting the stitches taken out. Dan said I was cursing like a sailor and the nurse was like I have never seen tape so embedded into someone’s skin like this. So after finally removing the tape and cleaning up my wound, they decided to just let the stitches dissolve in my skin because my flesh was not letting them go no matter what. Then we got down to some knee business.

My Ken doll of a doctor started to slowly take my leg off the table and I was like wait, hold up! What the funk? He was trying to trick me you see…making me talk so I would not notice him BENDING my knee in about a 15-30 degree angle. I noticed alright, but it didn’t hurt, just felt stiff and heavy. He said I should be doing this 4x a day until I come back in two weeks where I should be able to bend it 30-45 degrees. He also showed me my newest x-ray. This helped me get over the feeling that my leg was falling off. You see the wires contract when my knee bends to keep the fracture intact-who knew?

knee x-ray two weeks after surgery

I think the knitting visualization helped, because he said my knee was mending well. The more difficult task is to keep up with the exercises without the doctor present. At home we tried it out and I got scared and frustrated, but Dan held my leg and let it bend slowly and we got through it. I also need to do quad exercises to make sure they get stronger and don’t atrophy. I have another four weeks in the brace.

After physical therapy, a name from years ago popped into my head. Nancy Kerrigan. Didn’t she get hit in the knee by some goon with a lead pipe that Tony Harding hired? Well guess what, she was skating 6 weeks later!

Nancy Kerrigan got hit by a lead pipe and only got a bruise. yeah a painful bruise but it didn’t break. I fell on my knee and fractured it in three places. What and what.

You know I used to be a figure skater. I still have the outfit I competed in. Yes, I competed, but only once. I had the same routine as my best ice skating buddy and we both got 5th place. I tied for 5th and there were only 6 of us skating that day! And you know what? I NEVER COMPETED AGAIN! I quit training the very next day. Every winter I want to go and skate but don’t often make it off the couch, because I am watching so much ice skating on TV. I just love the commentary and the drama! Hello? Ever heard of Oksana Baiul? What a train wreck! And you know Scott Hamilton turned commentator after testicular cancer…I do love the rock n’ roll themed shows the best, seriously the worst performances EVER because skating will never get out of the early 90s. So much pain and heartache and cheesiness wrapped into a dorky routine and bad fashion sense-what is not to love?

I’ve decided I am gonna be tackling my rehab like a skater who is working on their comeback after falling on some hard times!

Yeah a project! 2010 is the year of walking for me and Ramona!

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coming home

September 23, 2009 · Filed under The thing about my family is..., The thing about Oz is... · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Okay this post won’t be as epic as the last one I swear. So here I am a week into recovery and I must say doing alright. Especially now that I have time to write and get a minute to myself (being a full-time stay at home mom I wasn’t getting much alone time). I am sure in a couple of weeks Dan will need a much deserved break for his mental health as well. Ramona is very easy to care for, but she is a baby, and well it is a whole different mindset and set of skills to learn.

So on Sept. 17th 2009 I was discharged and wheeled down to the car we call Migaloo (Aborignal word meaning white), a ford hatchback that Dan’s grandfather used to own. Basically we had to put the front seat as far back as it could go and Ramona’s car seat was behind it. The orderly held my leg while I tried to wiggle and maneuver my leg into the car without using my muscles. It was painful, I was scared my leg would snap off, and after a few tries it was just not working. The car was way to small, everyone outside the hospital was putting their 2 cents in, and I was freakin’ out and full on crying. So was Ramona. So humiliating. I couldn’t even swing my leg into a car to go home and I was holding up an ambulance and Ramona was upset and I just felt like a big ole failure.

Luckily we got the Camry, Bluey Sparklepants. Dan’s mom, Kate, was at our house and able to bring it to us. It was just going to take an hour. They asked if I wanted to go back to the ward and I was like NO WAY! I can’t go back there! So I was wheeled into the parents room to get it together. I broke down again. I missed my friends, I was supposed to leave today on a plane to see familiar faces. My knee was not working and wouldn’t work for months and I had a young baby I could not look after. Oh, and the drugs were hittin’ hard.

Finally got home, depressed, tired, and just sat on the couch watching bad Australian TV until bedtime.

Next day, after a bit of a cry, I needed a shower. The drugs were making me wake up in a full sweat. I could not physically/mentally get into the shower because I was certain I would slip, so Dan gave me a freakin’ sponge bath! We laughed hysterically, bonding over all this insanity. In sickness and in health people, in sickness and in health….and then he washed my hair. Which I have to say was the nicest thing a partner can ever do for you. I finally felt relaxed and refreshed. Rachael said the color was finally back in my face because yesterday I was looking a bit grey.

So here I am getting better everyday and almost off the drugs! Dan is the best person ever and my friends and family here and abroad have been sending well wishes all week. I finally have a feeling that everything will work out fine. My buddy Juli-anne is coming in October to be with me and help us out which is soo appreciated and Dan will be able to get back to applying for school. We are also planning a nice trip to NYC, DC, and Florida with the whole family in a few months-we can use my old ticket towards another purchase so not too bad of a loss. Kate was really helpful this past week and Dan’s sister Phoebe my come down as well. And Rachael is really sweet with Ramona. We are so happy to have a baby that can be handled by a bunch of different people.

It will take a long time to recover but I won’t miss the whole summer. So as soon as I am mobile again we are all taking Ramona on her first swimming lessons-cuuute!

For some reason this has made me feel like there is more of a community here then I realized…

FYI: Ramona is so gonna be walking around before I even get off these damn crutches.

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